Guest Post by Adhoora Khwaab
Feelings , emotions and attraction toward opposite sex is a natural phenomenon and nowadays dating in schools is common. It has resulted in a new sort of violence which may be called school dating violence. Very similar to adult domestic violence. it can be physical abuse leading to injury or even death in some cases , but in a school relationships , most of the abuse is emotional and verbal. Abuses includes threatening to leave her or finding someone else or he tells the girl none will love her , he will not let anyone love her , she is lucky to have him , he will tell everyone about the sexual aspect of their relationship. He also tries to break down the girl emotionally and destroy her self esteem.
sexual abuse also forms the part of school dating violence. This includes everything starting from unwillingly kissing or touching , forcing himself on her ,leading to sex and not letting a girl use protection.
With the generation gap parents are unable to imagine only that their daughter can face such violence with school friend. most of the parents or adults are not even aware about this issue. Its the responsibility of parents to see the warning signs which can be any one or all of the signs listed below
- Boy becoming everything for the girl.
- Girl dropping out of school activities.
- Their grades may suffer.
- Girl spending more time in her bedroom.
- Girl showing signs of depression or aggressive behavior
An abusive boyfriend also isolates her from her family and friend to make her feel insecure and make her feel that he is the only person she needs all the time for everything. He makes her feel that he is the only person who understand her and care about her. Most of the girls couldn’t even identify a abusive relationship. Its not easy for a girl to leave such a abusive relationship even though unlike adult domestic violence they don’t have children and not financially dependent on their partners. Still she will be reluctant to leave the relationship because of shame ,embarrassment by friends about her relationship.
The solution to this is prevention and awareness about the dating violence . Special counselors should be there in school for making young teen girls aware about the violence and make them not to accept it on face value. Education on the sex and relationships should be imparted to make them aware of the condition they might land in future. parents should keep watch on their children and should counsel them on this subject if they see any signs on their children. Mother plays important part as she is the one with whom daughter can share her life. one thing which parents should keep in mind that this age is of adolescence and their children may argue with them or not listen to them . Keep in mind when your growing children say they don’t need your advice ,its the time when they are in maximum of the need. parents should keep their calm and handle things in a cool way. This way School dating violence can be reduced to minimum or some day to zero.
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